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[30 Jan 2005|06:36pm] |
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thursday after school me kelly and hazel went to eat and then we went to alexandrias house and chilled then we picked up my brother and went to pick up telly , then we went to my house so that hazel, telly, and kelly could get ready to perform at riviera. we went to riviera and they performed they did awsome as usual =] !! then after we went to eat and then to tellys how to hang out for a while then i dropped hazel and javi off and went home .
well friday was awsome ;] only special ppl know bout that =]
saturday i picked up javi and telly!!! and we went to kfc were telly works for a lil while and then kelly wanted to go to flippers to take picz so we went..... and we took some cute picz it was fun!!!! then we just ate shit and laughed alot tellys a trip i FUCKEN LOVE HER! i so see us hanging out more =] yay! for me! well not much more to say .....
love
[nat]
( me and telly )
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[03 Jan 2005|06:04pm] |
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i am EXTREMELY fustrated right now with alot of shit and it fucking suckz big ass dick!!! part of all my fustration is due to the fact that i usually stay quiet and keep whatever im feeling inside until it slowly and painfully eats me away, and im not sure if i should just tell people how i feel ....... a part of me wants to, so that i know if im not the only one that feels the same but then the other part of me just likes what i have right now and doesnt want to lose it!!!!! my god , why are little things so complicated. i think im just gunna let fate take its course and whatever happens happens. fuck it , even if i dont get the results that i want life goes on and theres probably something better waiting for me somewhere. g2g cuz kelly the fatass needs me to take her to get food!!! muahz
[nat]
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[02 Jan 2005|08:36pm] |
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vacation is almost over, so you can only imagine how happy i am about going back to school =[ .well my dad took down the last of the hurricane shutters wich was mines and my brothers room , that suckz so much im really gunna miss those wonderful pieces of metal that would allow me to hibernate at whatever hour of the day (tear)...... not much to say . bye
[nat]
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[26 Dec 2004|02:28pm] |
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These are some old pix i never posted. enjoy.
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| focusing |
[11 Oct 2004|04:12pm] |
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 crazed w/thoughtz |
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w0w.... i have'nt updated in over a month!!! well here goes nothing ... ummmm i have'nt been putting my ALL into my school work , wich doesnt really surprise me cuz i always worry about having fun and not about what really matters like things that shape my future... but im gunna honestly try my hardest from now on. man ppl must think im crazy , cuz i usually write in here when im depressed or frustrated w/life and all its bullshit. idk its kinda wierd how sometimes i wish i could just disapear without hurting anyone at my dismissal , and then other days i wish i could live forever and just focus on being happy and making my friendz happy.... well im not sure what i feel right now , im just trying to get my priorities straightened out first , after i accomplish that then i'll worry about how to use my free time. well im actually a little proud of myself that i realized that i was doing something wrong and that im willing to change it , so that i can better myself. well g2g get started on alot of thinking and planning , and of course taking ACTION!!!!
love,
[natalie]
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| the real me...... |
[11 Sep 2004|09:57pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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the real me...cold and lonely
i feel that no one understands me
even though they say they've been there
they even say they care
i feel unwanted and alone
i dont even like the constant ringing of the phone
it reminds me of the things i dont pick up on
always being left out and laughed at
they say people are cruel but
do they know why?
they dont care how hard u try to be normal w/e that may be
so you try to be different yet your still
alone and helpless
you can try all you want to be happy
hide underneath ur laughter hoping that no one sees beneathe u
wishing that it will all just go away
praying that one day u will stop lying to everyone even yourself....
maybe it's in your mind
or maybe your destined to be different
or dare i say it .....
alone!
your heart craves for love and affection or
just a little attention
then when the day comes
when u finally think u know who u are or
who your friends are
all of a sudden everything changes
and your heart grows unhappy and sad
doesn't that make you mad?
knowing this could be your friend, daughter, son, or distant relative?
believe it or not people find ways,
ways to hide secret lives,
feelings and emotions..........
a few words could have made someone happy
you might not believe me
but trust me one day you will see
the sad little girl that lives inside of me........
[Natalie]
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| *nobody knows it but me* |
[04 Sep 2004|03:24pm] |
Yeah…
Wish I told him how I feel
Maybe he’d be here right now
But instead…
I pretended I’m glad you went away
These four walls close in more every day
And I’m dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I’m crying inside
And nobody knows it but me, yeah
Why didn’t I say
The things I needed to say?
How could I let my angel get away?
Now my world is just a-tumbling down
I can say it so clearly
But you’re nowhere around
The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I’m missing you
And nobody knows it but me, yeah
I carry a smile when I’m broken in two
And I’m nobody without someone like you
I’m trembling inside
And nobody knows it but me
I lie awake
It’s a quarter past three
I’m screaming at night
If I thought you’d hear me
Yeah, my heart is calling you
And nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get?
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it’s been torn all apart
A million words couldn’t say
Just how I feel
A million years from now, you know
I’ll be loving you still
The nights are lonely (nights are lonely)
The days are so sad (oh, so sad)
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I’m missing you
And nobody knows it but me, yeah yeah
No one, no one
But me…
Tomorrow morning, I’m hitting the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
And I’m gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Yeah, sad when the nights are lonely
The nights are lonely (since you’ve been gone)
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had (and I’ll be missing you, baby)
And I’m missing you (I always thought that you’d be at my side)
And nobody knows it but me, yeah
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| why? |
[31 Aug 2004|04:40pm] |
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mood |
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why dont i know what i want ?!!? why can't i just stop thinking and just take action for once ?!!? why is it soooo HARD for me to believe in myself ?!!? why can't i have the confidence to accomplish the things that i want to do ?!!? why? i just sit here and ask myself , why?
.:Natalie:.
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| saturday |
[31 Aug 2004|04:27pm] |
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 dorky |
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well on saturday me and Kelly went to bird bowl , were we met up w/Manny and Joe and played pool!!! yay! 4 us!! me and Joe lost to Manny and Kelly, but thats ok cuz me and Joe r still the shit!! lol well after we finished playing pool , we went to taco bell... then on r way home we stopped at Hermann's house!!! yay!! 4 me!! and thankz god that i did cuz if not he would probablly still be mad at me!!! and that would be horrible!!! ahhhhhhh!!! lets not even think what that would be like! well that was my wonderful saturday night. xoxo
..Natalie..
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| best time ever!!!! |
[28 Aug 2004|03:57pm] |
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wow!!! yesturday did'nt start off to wonderfull , due to an F on my math quiz and excruciating back pain!!! but then Hermann walked me to my car after school and he carried my books!!! yay! 4 me!! that was so sweet! well when i got home my parents said that me and Kelly could go out if we did groceries and u know we were like , hell yea! lol so we went to publix and when we got home we were contemplating on where to go and what to do..... until Dyana called me and said that she wanted to go out!! while i was on the phone w/Dyana nikky called Kelly asking if she was gunna do something and Kelly was like i wanna play pool @ bird bowl and Nikky was like i wanna go so i told her that i'd pick her up and then Hazel called Kelly and she was like i wanna go 2 and i was like tell her to get ready , cuz im such a nice person! lol so i got ready and i went to pick up Dyana first , and i got down at her house to say hi to her mom . Then we went to pick up Nikky , and then Hazel!! woooooo hoooooooo!!! the fun was just begining ...lmfao then we went to publix to get bills from a whole mess of change that Kelly had lol that shit was funny , so Kelly , Nikky , and Hazel got down to change the money and me and Dyana stayed in the car. while we were in the car i was like oh Dyana i have chocolate and Dyana was like awsome i've been craving chocalte and im like yea me to!! but when we started looking for the chocolate is was no were to be found , and we even looked in the trunk like idiots!! so then Dyana is like maybe Kelly ate it and i was like oh hell no!! that bitch better not have eaten my chocalte ..... and guess what? the bitch had eaten my chocolate while i got down at Dyana house!!! ahhhhh i was sooooo pist!!! but then we went to the gas station and Hazel bought me chocolate , and i shared it with Dyana!!! well then we passed by Rogers house to say hi! and then we left to bird bowl!!! we played pool there for an hour and me and Dyana were on a team and Kelly,Hazel, and Nikky were on the onther team and they beat us!!! w/e its all good!! lol then we left bird bowl and went to burger king!!! then Kelly was like lets go to dolphin to see Manny and Hermann , and me like an idiot went!!! we were only there for five minutes and we did'nt even see them! wow but we had the most fun in my car just dancing and singing!!! and let me not forget spit balls!! lmfao , i dont know how i let that happen!!!!well then i dropped off Nikky , Hazel , and Dyana......and headed home!!!! i had an awsome time!!!! yay! 4 me!!! well im out!! muahz!!!
[Natalie]
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| pretty good day! |
[25 Aug 2004|04:55pm] |
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hey! well 2day was an ok day. we had an assembly and guess what ? ...... i sat next to Hermann and Nicole , and Alekz!!! well in chemistry we did some lab thingy!!yay!4 me! it was easy and it took most of the period. then after school i picked up my brother and dropped Dyana off at her house!! i love u Dyana! then i went to my grandmas so that kelly could wash her hair, and of course my grandmother had to make us eat (surprise surprise). well then after we left my grandmas i took kelly to cut her hair!!!! yup she actually cut her hair!! its still long and beautiful! but she took like four inches off, wich is a HUGE deal since she hadn't cut her hair since the fourth grade!!(crazy ass bitch) j/k lol....well i can't wait till 2morrow!! buahahahaha!!! football game! yay!
*Natalie*
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| finally!! |
[20 Aug 2004|08:07pm] |
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today was an awsome day! i love even days!! well after school i went to the dmv and took a road test for my license..... and guess what?!!?!!? i passed!!! yay! 4 me!! well as u can tell that was the highlight of my day. i also became an organ donor, but my mom didn't like that very much and my sister said that i was fucking crazy. but hey it was my choice and i dont think its that big a deal. well thats all i wanted to say so bye!muahz...
..natalie..
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| the lil glare of light!! |
[19 Aug 2004|04:11pm] |
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i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!!well 2day was an extremely awsome day!!! due to the fact that i no longer have mr.hernandez as my math teacher!!!! god has answered my prayer!!!woooo hoooo maybe now i'll have a chance at passing algebra 2. and i got an A on my history quiz !!!! yay 4 me!! the only class thats ify is my chemistry class , damnn that teacher is fucked in the head he doesnt even remember what assignments he gives us , fucking retard (cough)well the only sucky part of my day was getting an F on my chemistry quiz ...,which is never a good thing but i'll do way better next time .lol gotta be optamistic! well i cant forget to say thank u 2 my bestest buddy in the world ~Hermann~ for helping me with my chemistry homework!!! thankz a million 'nd 1! im missing something, oh yeah i have lunch with Dyana,Sandy, Nicole, Alekz, and Crystal everyday!!yay!! its alot of fun!! i love first luch! well 2morrow is my slack day!!yay! i have yearbook, english, and tv production!!! cant get any slacker than that!! and they'r all in Awing!! woooo hoooo!! lucky me! im gunna take my license exam 2morrow after school!! wish me luck!! well im out.muahz!
luv ya!
~nati~
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| kristy's b-day !!! |
[09 Aug 2004|02:17am] |
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mood |
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hey!! well yesturday for kristy's b-day we went on a hummer limo!!that shit was tight as fuck! lol well yea we had lots of fun!!! it was 16 of us ,8 guys and 8 girlz! well we went to coco walk and south beach!!! we ate at t.g.i. fridayz while we were at the beach!!! and shorty bought kristy a rose!!!awwwwww how cute!! then after we ate we walked on the beach it was beautiful. oh but we had the most fun on the limo!!yay for us! remember what happenz on the limo stayz on the limo!!! yeah O KAY!!!lmfao... like thats gunna last! well i got a lap dance from kristy , kelly , 'nd oscar!! woooooo hoooooo!!! that was the da shit!!well bye!!!
luv ya!!
natalie
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| happy! |
[06 Aug 2004|03:29pm] |
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wow!! i read my buddy [hermann'z]journal and that shit was sOoOoOo different!!! i loved it! he expresses himself in a different way, and i think its awsome! ( i luv ya hermann!! )
well my parents left to go fix the car, which means we r going to the keyz 2day!! wich is a very good thing especially cuz im gunna get my license!! and because im gunna see my best friend in the whole world ( karina )! we r gunna have LOTS of fun!!! well my lazy ass sister is still sleeping, but i love her extremelly so its ok ! im running out of shit to say so im out!!! muahz!
~natalie~
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| tired |
[06 Aug 2004|03:35am] |
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hii everyone... well my niCe wOnderful brilliant!!! nOt 2 mentiOn BEAUTIFUL sister fixed thiZ paGe up fOr me due 2 da faCt that she loves me soo very much. this is my new journal. i will be writing in here everyday from now on or atleast when i get a chance. i hope you enjoy reading about my not so wonderful very boring life. letz see todaii i only got 2 1/2 whole hours of sleep due to the fact that i talked 2 alex on the phone till 7:00 in the morning. then my wonderful brother woke me up at 9:30 am so that i would acompany my mother to her doctors appointment. then i got back and spent my day sleeping in my mothers very comfortable bed! buahaha. i got on-line talked to hermann and thaisy. yay 4 me. then my wonderful sister made me this journal so that i could write wat i felt in hear instead of keeping her up all night wit all the thingz i had 2 say. goodnight. love ya. actually goodmorning. hehehe.
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nickynat69's journal